blein:

sO my friend’s dog died and she lives in new york city and so she had to take it to the vet by the subway and she put the dead dog in the suitcase on the subway and it was a pretty big dog and some dude saw that she was struggling with the suitcase so he asked if she needed help with it and he said do you mind me asking what’s in it and she didnt want to say a dead dog so shE SAID IT WAS A BUNCH OF LAPTOPS SO HE TOOK THE SUITCASE AND RAN AND I JUST 

hurricane-emily:

jimgaffigan:

Ladies I hope getting your nails done feels good because not a single man notices you got them done.

maybe

just maybe

women do some things for themselves and not just for men

what a concept

yohjihatesfashion:

capacity:

encephalopathy:

i don’t understand old white people who always dress like they’re on safari

they always ready to colonize a nigga just in case

omggggg

janetdevlinoffic:

Always remember that you are not worthless, organs are extremely expensive on the black market